Five Tips for Including Your Older Child In Your Pregnancy


    Five Tips for Including Your Older Child In Your Pregnancy

    Exciting news!  You’re expecting another baby.  Early on, you may not be ready to tell and but should you tell your older ?  Sure you should!  You are a and this is an important .  But be ready for questions, because most “older-siblings-to-be” are full of them.  Here is a sample conversation between my 3 year old and me when I was expecting his brother:

    3 year old (eyeing me with skepticism):  “Where will the baby come out?”

    Me: ” The baby comes out of the vagina.  It is an opening that squeeze out of.” 

    3 year old ( clearly needing more explanation):  “Where is the ‘gina?”

    Me:  “The vagina is between the mommy’s legs, near her bottom”.

    3 year old (not ready to end conversation):  “Can you tell me about vaginas?”

    Me:  “What do you want to know?”  ( 3 year old drops topic for a minute, walks off muttering to himself, then reemerges with more questions.)

    3 year old:  “Where is my vagina?”

    Me:  “You don’t have a vagina, because you are a boy.  Only girls have vaginas.  Boys have penises.”

    3 Year Old:  “Can you tell me about penises?”


    You get the picture!  And it only got worse as the pregnancy progressed.  Many questions.  And with good reason, inquiring minds want to know!  If your older is one of those inquiring minds ( or even he isn’t), here are some tips for including him in your pregnancy.

    1. Depending on your ’s age, you might start by talking about siblings.  If you have a sibling, you could tell your about how wonderful it is.  “Aunt Jan and I are sisters.  I love having a sister.  She has always been my favorite person to talk to.  Your sister is growing in my tummy (uterus, whatever you have decided on) right now!”

    2. enough information and be d to answer your ’s questions.  “Mommy and daddy are having a new baby!  The baby will be a brother or a sister.  Let’s look at the calendar so that you can see when the baby will be born.  There are some really fun ways to keep track of the days until the baby is born.  There are lots different apps and email services you can get to track the baby’s as the weeks pass.  This can be shared with siblings, especially if there are pictures.  I have also seen people use a paper chain where a piece of the chain is removed each day ( this would be fun in the last month).       

    3. If your needs more information, find some good to illustrate and explain pregnancy.  We included some of our favorites at the end of this article.  Remember to answer questions honestly, but without any alarming or confusing information.  Only you know what your will respond and react to – so use your best instincts.

    4. Start a relationship between your older and unborn baby by allowing the older to “read” or sing to the baby in your tummy.  It is also fun to your a disposable camera and have him make a “welcome book” to show the baby including your house and his favorite things.

    5. Include your older in baby preparation such as decorating the nursery, buying diapers, or picking out clothes.  Remember that, as a member of your , your may want to be involved.  Ask him how he would like to you for his sibling and him some options.

    Including your older in your pregnancy can be awesome.  It is a wonderful way to create a sibling bond, even before the baby is born (which may when your older is in the throes of the “new baby blues”).

    Let Them Fly!



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